software · hardware · things half-built
Motoring
At 1:64 scale, reviewed by a correspondent with no licence and no test track.
Lot 01
The rally legend that convinced mountains to become roads. Continues to look thoroughly prepared for weather the display cabinet has never seen.
Lot 02
A birthday cake disguised as transportation. Impressively festive, though its aerodynamic credentials remain understandably unverified.
Lot 03
A rally legend from the era when bravery outweighed horsepower. Looks permanently prepared to fling gravel at entirely innocent spectators.
Lot 04
Built to embarrass Ferraris in the 1960s. Now spends its retirement proving that good proportions never go out of style.
Lot 05
Designed with all the restraint of a heavy metal album cover. Its natural habitat appears to be orange plastic track and poor decisions.
Lot 06
Dressed in unmistakable pink and blue, ensuring subtlety never made the design brief. Brings Formula One optimism to the display shelf every weekend.
Lot 07
The automotive equivalent of a well-balanced cup of coffee. Never the fastest thing present, yet somehow the one everyone ends up smiling about.
Lot 08
A Formula One car whose natural habitat is measured in milliseconds. Fortunately, the shelf has never enforced qualifying regulations.
Lot 09
A front-wheel-drive luxury coupe made unapologetically cooler. Somehow manages to look both refined and mildly rebellious at the same time.
Lot 10
Resembles a concept sketch that accidentally reached production. Continues to divide opinions with remarkable aerodynamic efficiency.
Lot 11
Appears determined to save the planet at improbable speed. Whether the solar panels contribute anything measurable is left as an exercise for the engineers.
Lot 12
A compact targa-top made famous by Hollywood. Continues to suggest questionable street races while remaining impeccably parked.
Lot 13
Advertises instant torque with admirable confidence. Whether anyone asked for an electric funny car remains a separate engineering discussion.
Lot 14
A luxury coupe from a future where good taste apparently became much larger. Parks with confidence regardless of available space.
Lot 15
Frequently described as one of the world's most beautiful cars. The tiny version appears quietly satisfied that the argument was settled long ago.
Lot 16
A humble Civic that clearly declined the suggestion of remaining humble. Carries aftermarket confidence in quantities that exceed factory specification.
Lot 17
Apparently one Twin Mill wasn't quite enough. The solution was to add more attitude and trust that aerodynamics would sort out the paperwork.
Lot 18
A grand American cruiser given entirely unnecessary horsepower. Elegance and excess appear to have reached a mutually beneficial agreement.
Lot 19
Better known as the Hakosuka. Carries decades of racing pedigree with the quiet confidence of a car that has nothing left to prove.
Lot 20
Papaya orange with a persistent habit of appearing near the front. Even in miniature, it carries itself as though qualifying has gone rather well.
Lot 21
Built to make NASCAR officials slightly uncomfortable. Still carries the quiet confidence of a car that was engineered to win first and explain itself afterwards.
Lot 22
A lowrider icon with enough chrome to reflect questionable life choices. Thankfully, miniature hydraulics require remarkably little maintenance.
Lot 23
A food truck whose menu appears secondary to the pun. Serves imaginary snacks with a level of confidence usually reserved for Michelin stars.
Lot 24
A vintage delivery van thoroughly overtaken by a symbiote. Parcel handling standards have, understandably, become somewhat unpredictable.
Lot 25
Carries one of Formula One's most storied names with quiet determination. The comeback tour is progressing nicely across the bookshelf.
Lot 26
The everyday supercar, condensed to palm size. Still manages to look like it has somewhere more interesting to be.
Lot 27
Sits improbably close to the ground without ever complaining. Clearly convinced that suspension travel is a negotiable concept.
Lot 28
A Formula One machine with a talent for exceeding expectations just often enough to keep the engineers thoroughly entertained.
Lot 29
Stuttgart's answer to subtlety. Looks fast while standing perfectly still, which is fortunate given its current duties on a shelf.
Lot 30
Optimised for pursuing supervillains through Gotham. Slightly excessive for the journey from display shelf to desk, but reassuring nonetheless.
Lot 31
Designed for patrolling Gotham's least welcoming postcode. Comfort appears to have been sacrificed somewhere around the armoured plating.
Lot 32
A motorcycle apparently approved by comic-book physics. Entirely excessive for city traffic, which is precisely the point.
Lot 33
Built for winning races with unsettling regularity. Fortunately for the rest of the collection, podium ceremonies remain entirely optional.
Lot 34
Technically a Hot Wheels car, technically a keychain. Commits fully to solving a problem nobody was particularly troubled by.
Lot 35
An Italian coupe with impeccable taste and just enough unpredictability to keep mechanics intellectually engaged.
Lot 36
An Italian grand tourer from the era when sharp edges were considered a design philosophy. Still looks mildly offended by modern traffic.
Lot 37
Three wheels, two seats, and absolutely no interest in modern convention. Continues to prove that sensible engineering and entertaining engineering are not always the same thing.
Lot 38
The Formula One car that introduced an engine with structural ambitions. Continues to win imaginary Grands Prix between the bookshelf and the lamp.
Lot 39
Boxy enough to make the 1980s proud, futuristic enough to confuse them. Drifts entirely on reputation while remaining perfectly stationary.
Lot 40
A tuning icon that has spent decades refusing to go out of fashion. This anniversary edition celebrates the fact with admirable understatement.
Lot 41
A machine engineered almost entirely around speed. Mercifully, the display shelf imposes a rather strict speed limit.
Lot 42
Engineered with the sort of precision that makes stopwatches nervous. Spends its weekends dominating a display case instead of a race circuit.
Lot 43
Transparent bodywork leaves very little to the imagination. Convenient for anyone wishing to inspect imaginary hybrid technology without opening the bonnet.
Lot 44
The sensible companion to the Cybertruck, if anything wearing sharp angles can still be described as sensible. Happily awaits terrain it will never encounter.
Lot 45
Built for world domination, now reassigned to shelf decoration. Its military campaign currently consists of intimidating neighbouring die-cast cars.
Lot 46
Looks as though it escaped a 1920s speed record attempt. Fortunately, its only real competition is the occasional dust particle.
Lot 47
A V10 convertible for those who prefer their sunshine accompanied by improbable acceleration. Happily spends most of its time posing instead.
Lot 48
A cheerful Volkswagen van commemorating eighty years of making toys. Radiates the sort of optimism usually associated with perfect weather and no traffic whatsoever.
Lot 49
Equal parts luxury yacht and family saloon. Somehow suggests a relaxing holiday while appearing entirely incapable of fitting into a marina.
Lot 50
Folds neatly into the boot of a tiny city car. An admirably practical idea that somehow became irresistibly charming in miniature.
Lot 51
A seafood delivery van dressed as one of Spider-Man's less approachable acquaintances. Perfectly sensible once you stop expecting explanations.
Lot 52
A vampire-themed hot rod drafted into Gotham's service. Proof that even the Bat-Signal occasionally attracts delightfully questionable applicants.
Lot 53
Kindly displays its internal workings without being asked. Ideal for anyone who enjoys seeing how things work, or simply appreciates transparent overachievement.
Lot 54
Lot 55
An electric pickup that appears to have mistaken Pikes Peak for a casual Sunday drive. Perfectly civil until someone mentions lap times.
Lot 56
Designed for gravel stages and impossible confidence. Has yet to encounter either, though the bookshelf does feature a suspiciously loose pebble.
Lot 57
A proper one-make race car, shrunk without sacrificing any of its determination. Still appears to be expecting qualifying to begin shortly.
Lot 58
Comes with surfboards and an e-bike, suggesting someone planned the weekend far better than the average collector ever does.
Lot 59
Appears to have been assembled from equal parts hot rod and engineering experiment. Remarkably, the resulting paperwork seems to have been approved.
Lot 60
Lot 61
Designed by the man who penned the McLaren F1. Displays impeccable manners while quietly reminding everyone that lightness never goes out of fashion.
Lot 62
A Japanese hot rod with four rotary engines because apparently one was far too sensible. Calmly ignores all known principles of moderation.
Lot 63
A GT race car whose job description consists almost entirely of going very quickly in circles. Takes its miniature responsibilities with admirable seriousness.
Lot 64
Styled as though speed itself hired a graphic designer. It appears to be in an extraordinary hurry despite having nowhere in particular to go.
Lot 65
Designed to perform a world-record corkscrew jump. Your bookshelf remains unconvinced, though the ambition is appreciated.
Lot 66
Delivers milk with all the subtlety of a small earthquake. Nutrition may be optional; dramatic entrances are not.
Lot 67
Built to chase land-speed records, yet now content with collecting dust. Even turbine engines have to retire eventually.
Lot 68
A dairy truck.